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Thursday, 17 April 2008

  • updates

    It's been a week and two days since I gave him his two weeks notice and he hasn't done a thing... I finally brought home some boxes but they are still sitting right where I left them... he left his dog inside the house but her food and water outside... and I haven't seen him since...I know he has been home a few times while I'm sleeping but he's always gone when I leave for work at 4am... I don't know what he thinks... but I am so angry with him for putting me in this situation.  I don't want to have to lock him out and have the locks changed and force him to come get his stuff with a police escort.
    Other than that, life is great... my roommie and I are already planning our housewarming party.
    I am done with Preaching Class and Supervised Ministry so all I have left is Civil Rights Movement. 
    Cedric is looking for a new job... I hope that he gets a new one soon because not having a job can be really stressful.
    Today at work I felt like my appendix was going to burst but I don't want to go to the doctor yet... I hope it's nothing but it hurt a whole lot....


Wednesday, 09 April 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Legend - The Best Of Bob Marley And The Wailers (New Packaging)
    By Bob Marley & The Wailers
    No Woman No Cry
    see related

    When the right thing is so hard to do

    I don't imagine that too may people will be reading this... and if you do, that's ok... but more than anything this is going to be a place for me to vent... it makes me feel like someone else could be listening without being as public as myspace or facebook... so I am going to vent about what is on my heart today...
    Last night I had to tell my roommate that he had to be out of the house by the end of the month and that if he could be out by the 23rd I would pay for April's bills but if not, he still has to be out by the 30th and he owes me for April's bills.  I know that it hurt and that it is a burden and I feel absolutely horrible but at the same time... all of us who have continuously allowed him to shit on us and get away with us are all accessories to his irresponsibility as a human living in this world. 
    I realize that not everyone has the same views about this world and our purpose in it, but the fact of the matter is that some people consistently take from the world and never contribute anything back... and that is unnacceptable.  i can't do anything about his relations to others... but I can save myself from being taken advantage of and shat on...
    over a year and a half I have had numerous conversations with him, begging him to do his part... he has never mowed the lawn or paid anyone to do it, even when he said he would so I waited to allow him to do that, which created more work for me the next time I had to do it... until recently (like in the past few months) he didn't do dishes or clean up after himself at all... he has only cleaned the bathroom once, when I asked him to because my parents were on their way and I was running out of time to clean.  His best friend lived on my couch for at least 3 months, not contributing to the household responsibilities financially or by cleaning up after himself and every time I came or went from the house (from one of my two jobs or school) he was asleep on the couch, reminding me that I was working my ass off while he did nothing and bummed off of me... and I never said anything to him about it... I told Brent eventually that he had to take care of the situation because it wasn't fair...
    He never tells me when people are going to be there... and has them there until all hours of the morning when I have to be up for work at 4am... He gave his key to his friends so that they could come and go as they please whether he was there or not, with no consideration as to whether I was having a date at home, or working on research papers, or just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet in my own home, by myself... He never paid for bills until I asked for them and sometimes had to go out of my way to pick them up, often leaving me to pay upfront without his portion.
    but somehow, my frustrations and my cries for some respect and some help in the house make me a horrible person, not representative of the character that I claim as a Christian and social justice activist....
    When it was time to resign the lease last September I told him I wouldn't resign unless he met certain demands (like cleaning his room at least ONCE and promising to help me keep the house clean) but it came time to sign the lease, he still hadn't done those things and I had nowhere to go because I had given him the benefit of the doubt so I resigned anyway and he was to take care of those things... it didn't happen and so several months later I started looking for a new roommate and one day while I was showing the house he came home... after she left I sat down with him and had a heart to heart explaining to him what I needed from him because I didn't want for him to have to move out... he said he would take care of things... and didn't...
    So, the straw that broke the camel's back was this Sat morning when I walked into MY kitchen and said good morning and his friend chewed me out for waking him up... he was sleeping on the couch... as always... I informed him that this is MY house and if he has a problem he needs to go to Brent because this is mine and Brent's house and he is never to talk to me that way again... the argument continued on later in the day where they both attacked me about how I am never nice to them and how miserable Brent is living there... so... I called the landlord to find out what it would cost to break the lease and found out that I was the only one legally bound by the lease (and thereby protected by it either) so he could move out without monetary penalty but I also needed to find someone to take over his portion of the rent, so we made that happen... she needed to move in the 15th of May and so my landlord gave him 2 weeks. 
    After we spoke, I left and his friend called me to ask what happened because Brent was upset but wouldn't tell him why so I told him and he questioned me and I reminded him that he of all people should know where I am coming from because he used to live with Brent and he had confided in me about that experience, that he lied saying he had taken care of responsibilities that he hadn't, that he never fulfilled promises to take care of responsibilities, that the friend's credit was absolutely ruined by the thousands of dollars that Brent owed for the mess left in their apartment that Brent never paid for... he lived in the mess and filth... he knew... the friend understood.  Then he called back to apologize for this weekend, saying he felt like this was all his fault and he wanted to make it better and I thanked him for the apology but assured him that this weekend was just the straw that broke the camel's back and that the reason this was happening was because of the past year and a half... he continued to argue and I finally said, "I have to go. I don't have to have this conversation anymore.  It's done and over with.  It is out of my hands at this point in time.  There is no rectifying the situation... I am getting off the phone..."  and I did...
    It hurts my heart but I know that this is best for both Brent and I... he needs to learn that there are consequences to not being responsible and we all have to stop protecting him and picking up the slack for him... He needs to learn how to be an adult and it's not my responsibility. 
    So pray for him that he can survive on his own and will learn how to be an active participant in this world, rather than a parasite who takes until he can't take anymore and then moves to a new host, leaving a trail of broken hearted friends behind.

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Wednesday, 30 November 2005

Tuesday, 25 October 2005

  • Currently Listening
    Beautifully Human: Words and Sounds, Vol. 2
    By Jill Scott
    I'm Not Afraid
    see related
    so i've been up since 3:20 I really am trying so hard to stay awake so that we can hang out but I am fading fast.  I think I was PMSing and particularly emotional, even though I promised myself I wouldn't try and put it off on that.  I dunno what the hell is wrong with me but I am pretty sure that I am not interested in seriously dating any men...
     

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megganelizabeth

  • Visit megganelizabeth's Xanga Site
    • Name: Megan
    • Country: United States
    • State: Texas
    • Metro: Fort Worth
    • Birthday: 11/26/1981
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 9/29/2005

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About Me

  • I'm a Seminary student at Brite. I just "celebrated" my 7th year at Starbucks Coffee Company. I am a Minister of Youth and Outreach at a church in Weatherford. I have two cats. I love life, and I love people... A few years ago I decided to rid my life of drama & I've learned it is a continuous process of re-evaluating areas of life that are improving my quality of life & those that make it difficult for me to be the best version of myself that I can be... It's a difficult commitment but liberating. I've recently learned how to love & trust again b/c of a man who lives up to the fairy tale expectations that I have promised not to settle w/o. Cedric is amazing... we take care of each other, we laugh, we love, we talk, we grow, every day is better!

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